January 2009
25 posts
blurredvision:
Massage Situation, Flying Lotus...
Newsvine - Random Act of Vineness: Shawn Gordon →
On Food
Pat, a friend of mine who lives two buildings over from my apartment sat with me at lunch. Periodically we take turns cooking whatever we have on hand. Today was his turn. He cooked Eggplant Parmesan. I don't like Eggplant, but I didn't want to be rude either so I dealt with it. Well, I dealt with it until Pat noticed I was pushing the food around on my plate than in my mouth
PAT: How is it?
ME: It feels like puffer fish.
PAT: Wha- Puffer Fish?
ME: Yeah, Puffer Fish. You know - swims around, blows up with spines all over?
PAT: How does Eggplant "feel" like Puffer Fish?
ME: Well, when I eat it, it tastes like how a puffer fish crammed into my penis and agitated with a ball peen hammer made of razors would feel - to be honest.
PAT: "I don't like it" would have worked just as well.
Versus
I was trying to explain to a client why I chose not to 'rip' part of an image from his business card media file given to me in GIF format (of all things) and use to for his website face lift. He wants the grass, but I told him for the original artist to send me the EPS of the grass so I can scale it and keep visual integrity. He doesn't get it, so I explained it the best I could:
CLIENT: Can't you just take, like the picture and copy the part you want?
ME: Yes, but I strongly suggest against it. It would look horrible.
CLIENT: But it looks good on my business card.
ME: Yes however, The process in which I have to go through in order to use it for web graphics means that I have to enlarge the image once I took it from the media kit you sent. There are conversions and so on, but the overall quality would still be bad. Again, I strongly suggest this not happen. It would be best if the original artist sent you, and you to me, the "EPS" file that was used to make your cards. Or, if you like I can request them directly from the artist. In the end the grass will look the same as on your card, but be scale for the website and be without what we call 'artifacts' that degrade the quality of what your visitors would see.
CLIENT: So, you can't just somehow rip it out and make it bigger and go back and delete the artifacts?
ME: I don't think you want to pay me to spend the hours to delete and smooth out 'artifacts' and there is still the problem of scale.
CLIENT: How much would it be to delete the artifacts?
ME: Your budget plus. That aside, the scale issue is the biggest thing.
CLIENT: How so?
ME: Visually speaking here, what you are asking is like hopping on a Big Wheel to compete in an F1 race... or watching the original VHS of Tron on a 73" 1080p TV from 2 feet away. Or, imagine a 500lb old woman naked... in a corset and crotchless panties sitting next to a Playboy model in regular clothes, which do you think you'd prefer to look at and would be of better quality?
CLIENT: How do we know they're crotchless?
ME: Um... hypothetically you looked so that I didn't have to, came back and told me and now I'm reaffirming it... but that's not the point... Can I do it? Yes. Will I do it? No.
Google: Google Maps Gets a Public Transit Layer →
Sad Day
It’s a sad day when people can’t be people and ‘man up’ anymore. Vauge threats have become “terroristic” and thus verbs become abstract, firm discipline has erdoed into the ‘abuse’ nomenclature, and we’re told that we shoud be banned from knowing when our minor child has an out of state (or even in state) abortion but get called negligent when...
Ubuntu and Its Leader Set Sights on the Mainstream... →
WatchWMR Presents: How to Make A Cheese Sandwich - Video (via Metacafe)
Foods that contain ample amounts of crack:
Burger King Double Whoppers with ( with ‘man’ amounts of cheese and bacon)
Cheesesteak Hot Pockets
Smores Pop Tarts
Rosemary and Thyme Triscuits
Tomato and Basil Wheat Thins
Caramello
Snickers
Papa Johns pepperoni and extra cheese pizza with bacon
Hostess Apple Pies
Grandma’s Peanut Butter cookies
Pillsbury Extra Flakey Biscuits
Jack Daniels BBQ sauce
Cracklin’...
cakeordeath:
“It’s like bread with a pancake crust!”
— Myke, on French toast. He discovered the secret (whatever it is — more butter?) because his was delicious, and I’ve never made a halfway-decent batch in my life.
you have to make them with love, becuase that’s the secret ingredient - and eggs and milk and vanilla and a hint of cinnamon, but mainly the love
No one knows it, but:
magicmolly:
If you open up Lil’ Wayne, there’s a littler Wayne inside. And if you open up that one, a yet smaller Wayne appears. And inside of him? That I cannot tell you, for I am entrusted with his secret.
Quite the paradox. The real question is, do they all want to fuck the police?
To Hell and B.A.C. Again.
Having a couple of days to think it over, and no matter how badly I’d like to at the very least ‘bitch smack’ him - it will do no good. I think the best (absolute) way to get him to realize that he only THOUGHT he had issues and see the reality of it all is to force him into dealing with it himself. This means that I cannot be in his corner. Most people would tell me that the...
Goals for 2009
karmcity:
Here’s how I did with my list from 2008:
- Enter a CAT5 bike race DONE - Complete an Olympic Triathlon DONE - Cook a gourmet meal at least 4 times per month - Learn the piano DONE - Keep a calendar DONE - Read at least 10 books DONE - Host a party [at my girlfriend’s house!]
Not too shabby. The piano wasn’t up my alley and I waited too long to register for a race.
Here’s my...
Warning: Double Standards May Be Contained in This...
karmcity:
I’m reading “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.” By page 5, it had expressed more swear words than any other book I’ve read. The work reads like a forum post from a troll.
Why don’t books carry the same “explicit content” warnings that every other medium does? Hell, kids are ENCOURAGED to read books over watching TV, or listening to music, or playing video games. Yet, a single book...
dumb ass
So this morning I allowed my brother to borrow my car. I probably shouldn’t have but he’s borrowed it before with no incident. See, he’s had 2 previous DUIs. Yeah, it can be argued that I was stupid to let him use it, but I thought “How can one attain a positive goal if not given the proper ability to achieve after failure.”
Of course I’m now of the opposite...
